Funny Quotes About Your Mind Runninh
Life tin can exist funny sometimes. Well, and so can life quotes… This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could observe, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain.
This is a curated sub-category. Bank check out our full drove of life quotes.
"My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal. -From the movie ED tv
"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the residuum of his life. -Terry Pratchett
"Life is hard, after all, it kills you. - Kathrine Hepburn
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. - George Carlin
"Life is an onion and one cries while peeling information technology. - French Proverb
"Clothes brand the man. Naked people have piddling or no influence in lodge. - Mark Twain
"If yous call up you are too small-scale to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. -Dalai Lama
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. - Homer Simpson
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. -Johnny Carson
"We go through life thinking we're invincible, but the truth is we're totally vincible. -That Seventies Show
"Go through life like a duck: Royal on top, boot similar hell underneath. -Anonymous
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, outset make sure y'all are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes. -William Gibson
"You tin can't always control who walks into your life only, you Tin control which window you lot throw them out of… -Unknown
"Information technology is said that your life flashes before your eyes simply earlier yous dice. That is true, information technology'southward chosen Life. -Terry Pratchett
"Nobody dies a virgin life f***s united states of america all. -Kurt Cobain
"Life's a garden… dig it. - Joe Dirt
"Man does non command his ain fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx
"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sexual activity. - Unknown
"Don't sweat the footling things, and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin
"Accept who you are. Unless y'all're a serial killer. - Ellen DeGeneres
"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw
"That'due south what. - She
"The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. - Arthur Miller
"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake upwardly in an onetime people'southward home feeling better every mean solar day. You go kicked out for existence too healthy, go collect your pension, and and so when you offset work, y'all get a gold watch and a party on your start day. Yous work for 40 years until yous're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high schoolhouse. You then go to primary school, you get a kid, you lot play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you lot are born. And then you spend your concluding nine months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every twenty-four hour period and then Voila! Yous finish off as an orgasm! -Sean Morey
"I promise life isn't a big joke, considering I don't go it. -Jack Handey
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. -John Wayne
"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'thousand awake, y'all know? -Ernest Hemingway
"Exist excellent and party on dudes. - Abraham Lincoln
"Nosotros all pay for life with death, and so everything in betwixt should be complimentary. -Neb Hicks
"I drinkable to make other people more than interesting. - Ernest Hemingway
"Procrastinate now, don't put it off. - Ellen DeGeneres
"Remember, if you're headed in the wrong direction, Life considers U-turns to be legal, in all jurisdictions. -B.T. Henderson
"Life is always walking up to us and saying, 'Come on in, the living's fine,' and what do we do? Dorsum off and accept its picture. -Russell Bakery
"Life is a sexually transmitted affliction. -R.D Laing
"If someone ever asks you to do something for them, exercise it really bad so you lot never have to do it once again. - Paris Hilton
"In heaven, all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Nietzsche
"To do is to exist. -Nietzsche
To be is to do. -Kant
Practice be exercise be do. -Sinatra
Source: https://www.curatedquotes.com/life-quotes/funny-life-quotes/
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